Straight bars just don't fit

Since being out, I very rarely venture out into straight bars anymore. Besides the occasional pub that is, but even that is a rarity these days.

I hear some of you say that the majority of society is straight; so what difference does it make?

Well... let me try to explain. Bars/clubs are like a watering hole for singles, those who want to do some 'window shopping', and for those who want to flaunt themselves. We might go with our pack of friends, or meet just a couple of people for a quick drink or two (or three, or four), but let's face it people - don't tell me you don't go into these places and don't notice people's eyes wandering around the room for some eye contact. It happens, and you do it, even if you don't admit it. We're creatures driven by sex and attraction. It's what makes us dress up nicely, pamper ourselves and take that extra glance in the mirror. You wanna look good so people can be attracted to you, and the more heads you turn, the better. Or failing that - you go in to check out the hottness.

My girlfriend and I had to make an appearance at one of her (straight) friend's 30th birthday in Richmond. The place - The Pitcher & Piano. Absolutely filled to the brim. With straight people. And two lesbians.

I remember walking in and feeling quite self conscious. Kind of like I did when I was in the closet at school - such a bizarre feeling of wondering if people could tell I was gay. Honestly, I think they could because I was the only female wearing jeans and trainers (sort of a lesbian uniform which you can never go wrong with). All other females of the species were in summery flowery dressy thingies with heels, beads, bangles, handbags and other goodies straight women tend to flock for in Accesorize. I stood out, let's put it that way.

But I liked it.

I looked around at the female fiasco of Cosmopolitan/Vogue/Marie Claire readers and thought, "thank god I don't look like you."

It made me realise and appreciate the world that I belong to - Diva, G3, Soho, Tottenham Court Road, The L Word... I was different in this world and I liked being different.

It's a complete contrast to the way that I used to feel when I was trying to fit into it in my younger years. I guess the best way to describe it is like trying to shove on a shoe that's 2 sizes too small for you. No matter how hard you push and squeeze, it's just not going to happen.

I shed those heels/bangles/beads years ago. My Converse/short hair/jeans fit much better, thank you very much.